If the world is going to hell, who are you going to be with in heaven? Everyone you love is down here.
I always feel something new but I can’t go back to the days of foolishness anymore when I have a reputation to maintain.
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I’ve honestly no idea how to be myself without making a fool of myself. Is keeping it real a double-edged sword?
She was the quiet of understanding
I won’t lay it on thick:
She was beautiful
And when she went without makeup
(Meaning she had just stripped it off)
we made out
and I could taste her
And I mean her taste was original
And utterly irresistible
And maybe she had on a little coconut oil
and she had just eaten an orange
and the concealer was still there and had mingled with her sweat
But her perfume
Oh God..her perfume
Is something I’d keep coming back for
And it will be a memory that stays with me even if she’s gone away
And let me just say
I’m so happy our noses are above our lips
That we take in memories as we give each other pleasure
I’m so happy for you
It hurts. If ever you had a chance to say that looking at me hurt, hurt you, please keep it to yourself. I’d understand. No, I haven’t been honest with myself. And isn’t that the only thing that counts? For me to be honest with myself. Sometimes I try to edit later on but I’m so scared and I know that I will forget to and will just do an unsatisfactory job. Because my memory is so bad and that I don’t have to say everything to make you feel it. I’ve been writing and lying simultaneously. Lately it’s been that way. Funnily enough, I’m never unhappy. I sin like a fucker in my intentions. I mean I never do anything bad. But in my mind, I’m really fucking you over. Fucking everyone over. And yet I’m at my most content. Sometimes I have troubled naps. But my dreams are always weird. I don’t have to tell myself much, to know what I’m trying to say or how I’m really feeling. I have no idea what proverb to spill out. I just believe that everyone who fucks over a friend with their thoughts, is testing their limits. And those limits don’t exist when you think the worst possible things. Because at the end of the day they forgave. You atone and are forgiven.
It’s nice to talk to you.